Because of various interactions I had in the past 24 hours with multiple individuals, I have developed conflicted feelings over what I believe is massive misuse of the term "best." Last night a bunch of girls absolutely nauseated me with their one-sided conversation about how everything they have or have done is the "best." They have the best doctor, the best hospital (girl is pregnant), best wedding photographer, best wedding venue (other girl is getting married). This came on the heals of a different back-and-forth discussion I had about my identification of a few of my friendships as "bests." Indeed, I, too, may be seen to overuse (dare I say "misuse") the term "best." After all, I will absolutely say to anyone who will listen that I believe I have the best niece of all time.
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Miss O projectile vomited minutes after this picture. I know I have vomit on me somewhere because I can still smell it, strongly, as I am typing this post hours after the event. I still love her and think she's the best.
I suppose what has gotten me bothered is the specific connotation of each person's use of the word "best." The girls from last night, I think, were just being nasty. They wanted me to know they had something that was better than what I had. (I am not an idiot and I pick up on this kind of attitude very quickly.) You know.. nasty girls (and guys) with a superiority complex. My mom, however, would likely say those girls were insecure. I think the personality types go hand-in-hand, although I am not a psychologist. Obviously. In any event, I sometimes get defensive to those types of declarations. (Because I have nothing better going on in my life at the moment to just laugh and these comments go. This is a sign my work has slowed down and my personal life is blissfully content. This girl loves a little drama.) Those girls clearly didn't consider my wedding photographer. And seriously, I wouldn't have my temperature taken at the hospital in which this girl is choosing to have her baby. (Oh watch out, don't make me get nasty in return.)
But on the more positive side, there is another person I know who describes every experience as the best. Amazing! Incredible, this person will say. (At least one person reading this must know who I am talking about.) But these specific declarations makes me smile. Every. Single. Time. I feel within my bones that this person's declarations of "best!" are an outward expression of joy. Sharing the find, but not imposing the opinion.
I'm not sure I am making the difference between the two "best" usages as clear as I have it in my mind. But my point is, when I, personally, declare something as "best" or "most amazing" I obviously do not mean this to be a final, world-wide declaration of whatever category it is I am talking about. Just because I have a "best" niece, doesn't mean your niece also isn't a "best." She's just best for me. And anyone who knows of her... but that's getting carried away. And I would never try to be nauseating about my use of the word best. Nor would I try to diminish the value of "best" in my life. I'm just trying to share my excitement about a treasure I think I have found. Whether it be restaurants, hotels or friends. All treasures; all "bests" in my life. If I didn't consider them "bests" I would not hold them close in my life. I give only my best (some my disagree, but whatever) and I keep only my best. I consider all "bests" a best for various reasons - each reason being different - but the "best" remaining of equal significance across each factor in my life.
And just when I started to realize I had dwelled too much on this topic, (that's what husbands are good for, right?), I learned of some news that snapped me right out of this silly train of thought. (Because honestly, this is a silly topic of conversation.)
A man that I know was received into God's kingdom today. He was one of the best men I had met in my life.
It was time to hang these crosses up today. The larger one a 30th birthday present from one of the best friends a girl could ever hope for. The other a wedding gift from one of the best families in my and Sean's life.
I will not disclose this man's name for the sake of privacy and respect for his family. I only spent time with him for one weekend, but I know he was an amazing family man who raised beautiful and kind children. He gave his best until he had nothing left to give on this Earth. What more could you hope for in your life? What more can be expected of a person? He truly was one of the best. And he will be missed. But his life's significance will not be lost upon those he leaves behind.
And with this, friends, I will simply leave you with the thought that I truly hope you all have many "bests" in your life.
**As a disclaimer... this post does not represent the entirety of my thoughts on this subject. This post was written in a matter of a few minutes without much thought on the selection of the words I have used. This post likely has not even been proofread. I could have more to say on the subject and may even deviate a bit in my thoughts later on if warranted. But I never mean to offend anyone and only am trying to share, inspire and cause a laugh. But indeed, this is the general gist of what I am feeling at this exact moment. **
14 comments:
girl... i feel you!!! there are some nasty nasty people in this world, and when they are on their deathbed, they won't remember how their wedding photographer was the best around, etc. jesus christ is the BEST. mhmm. let me know when you get your package!! <3 beautiful post, def can relate!
I think people who do this are either (A) genuinely excited and don't mean any offense, (B) trying to milk this pregnancy/upcoming wedding for all the attention it can get them, or (C) insecure, as your mom would say, and trying to project more happiness than they really have. I find that types (B) and (C) go hand-in-hand often. After your friends - no offense meant to them - have their weddings or give birth to their babies, they'll probably try to make something else "the best", then something else.
Well said LM. For what's its worth, I know people who have like a million "best" friends. For what its worth, I think you're the "best!" lol
Maybe your niece was barfing because of those girls. I know I would be. I hear you, there are different ways you can use that word. One is braggy, the other enthusiastic and loving. I actually hadn't really thought of the different ways you could use that word before. Thanks for putting it in my mind.
My prayers are with your friend.
What insight! I totally agree that some people use the word in an I'm better than you way, but some like your friend are simply expressing joy and to them everything is the best because everything is wonderful. I hope I'm the latter!
these are great thoughts, thank you for sharing!
I completely relate to having a zillion feelings about something and trying to blurt them all out in black and white, so I completely understand your disclaimer. :) That said, it's really a good lesson in being Aware that people misuse words so commonly! I love my son, he is the Best. I love fried eggs, they are the Best. But your neice is the best, and so are scrambled eggs. Hahahaaa. Now I'm the one rambling. ;D But, I get you. :)
Thank you for cleaning up the projectile vomit. You are a great sis and Auntie!!
I totally get what you mean about the different ways to use the word. And I definitely know quite a few ppl who use it in the nasty way. Sometimes I feel like saying, "Really? Was it really the 'best'? Do you have proof of that?"
I overuse it in the other way, though - as a way of expressing excitement over something. I think I use 'worst' in a similar way to illustrate how horrible I think something is. As in, "Those girls that were using 'best' in the nasty way are the worst!" :)
Do you feel like blogging brings out this type of behavior in us? For example, I am constantly asked to do a "nursery reveal" on my blog... or when am I going to post maternity pictures? I fear that people ask me those questions so that they can see if their nursery is "better" than mine. Or that their pictures are the best, not mine! But we aren't even decorating her nursery because we are moving shortly after she's born. What's the point of decorating just to pack it up? And we've decided to forgo maternity pictures to save money... but I still think my little family is the BEST :) And I can't wait to share my baby girl with world because she already brings so much happiness into our lives! Life shouldn't be a competition. We should all be happy for each other instead of trying to compete and come out THE BEST!
Did that even make sense? If not? Blame it on the pregnancy brain ;)
I agree with Robin way up there, I think there are many different reasons to use the term "best."
But I also think that "best" means different things to different people. And I figure as long as I'm happy with what I've done I don't really care if others thing their "whatever" is the best. Who cares if you're happy?
I will say that this morning after not crapping for two days it was the best crap I had taken ... In two days. I have moved in to most bestest of something else. Best is the equivilant of the word Like. I work wit someone who says like before every third word.
I used the word best quite a lot, but I use it to mean that something was particularly good or how happy I am about something, such as "I had the best weekend" or "I have the best friends," however I'd never use it with the assumption that mine is the best as in better than everyone elses, because, well, that would just be ridiculous, untrue and really who cares? what is with individuals needs to compare and having to "one up" others? why can't people just be grateful with what they have and happy for other people and what they have? ...sorry I got a bit ranty then, great post.
An interesting post.. i totally get what your saying.
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